Logic Bullying

In a meaningful conversation with a client, Stephanie explored the idea of how logic can sometimes be used to dismiss emotions—giving rise to the term logic bullying. In this piece, she unpacks how well-intended reasoning can invalidate feelings and how we can shift toward true emotional connection.

When Logic Becomes a Barrier to Connection

Many of us try to fit into a version of ourselves that makes sense—logical, digestible, easy to understand. We convince ourselves that if we can explain our feelings rationally, they will be valid. But that’s not how emotions work.

Too often, we use logic as a shield, a way to dismiss or override emotions—our own or someone else’s. In my work with clients, I’ve explored this idea and developed a term called “logic bullying”—when facts, reasoning, or “solutions” are used to invalidate emotions rather than acknowledge them.

Understanding Emotional Invalidation: The Impact of Logic Bullying

At Ever Human Therapy, we focus on fostering emotional validation in relationships. Logic bullying is a non-clinical term that describes how someone’s attempt to rationalize or “fix” an emotional experience can unintentionally dismiss the other person’s feelings. It’s a simple tool to help navigate emotional responses without relying on terms like narcissism or gaslighting.

What does this look like?

Dismissal of emotions – Responses like “That doesn’t make sense” or “It’s not a big deal” overlook feelings in favor of logic.

Deflection – Offering facts or solutions rather than acknowledging emotions.

Lack of empathy – Trying to fix the situation instead of simply listening and offering support.

How Logic Bullying Differs from Gaslighting and Narcissism

It’s important to recognize that logic bullying is not the same as gaslighting or narcissism — though they can sometimes feel similar.

Logic bullying – Often unintentional and rooted in discomfort with emotions rather than manipulation. The goal isn’t control; it’s avoiding emotional depth.

Gaslighting – A deliberate form of psychological manipulation designed to make someone question their reality, memory, or sanity (“That never happened,” or “You’re imagining things”).*

Narcissism – Dismissing emotions not just with logic, but with a sense of superiority and self-importance (“Your feelings don’t matter—this is about me”).

While gaslighting and narcissism are harmful and often intentional, logic bullying typically comes from a place of emotional avoidance rather than malice.

Why Does This Matter?

When emotions are invalidated, it can lead to feelings of isolation, confusion, and self-doubt. We’ve been conditioned to believe that emotions must be justified to be real—that they must fit into a neat, explainable box. But the truth is:

-You don’t need a reason to feel what you feel.-Your emotions are valid simply because you experience them.-You don’t have to prove or explain them for them to matter.

If you’ve experienced logic bullying, try this:

-Name it: “I don’t need a solution right now, I just need to be heard.”

-Set Boundaries: “My feelings don’t need to be logical for them to be real.”

-Encourage Self-Awareness: Some people don’t realize they’re doing it—helping them see it can lead to more meaningful conversations.

If you’ve ever felt dismissed—if you’ve struggled to express your emotions in a world that prioritizes logic over feeling—we see you. It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling, and it’s okay to let others feel what they’re feeling.

Let’s build spaces where we don’t just explain emotions—we honor them.

Have you ever experienced logic bullying? Let’s talk about it.

Post Written by Stephanie Pelland