Let Them. And Let Yourself.

Do what is best for you, and you will do what is best for those around you (minus being a total jerk).

For so long, we’ve been taught to twist ourselves into knots for others—saying “yes” when we mean “no,” over-explaining, or shrinking our needs. We hold onto expectations, hoping others will like us, accept us, or approve of us. But here’s the thing: when you focus on them, you lose touch with you. That’s where the Let Them Theory—popularized in a 2024 book of the same name by Mel Robbins—comes in.

Instead of seeking approval or trying to control how others perceive you, the Let Them Theory invites you to release that weight and let them—let them misunderstand, let them judge, let them walk away if they must. This doesn’t mean you don’t care, it means you trust that the right people will stay and the right opportunities will unfold when you stop twisting yourself for approval.

At Ever Human Therapy, we explore how this “letting them” relates directly to your empowerment. Anxiety often arises when there’s a mismatch between who you are and who you’re trying to be for others. This is called cognitive dissonance, and it shows up when you’re not living in alignment with your values. When you give up your voice or your needs to make someone else feel comfortable, your inner world starts to get noisy—and that noise is anxiety.

So, here’s the shift: Let them think what they think. Your truth doesn’t need anyone’s approval. Let them judge, or walk away. Not everyone is meant to stay, and that’s okay. The right people will see you for who you truly are, and that’s where real connection begins. Let yourself live authentically, because when you align with your true self, everything around you falls into place.

How will you practice the Let Them Theory today? Share below—let’s keep the conversation going!

Post Written by Stephanie Pelland